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“We make our choices, then our choices make us.”
Short-Term Satisfaction!
Often choices are clouded by obstacles, like anger, stress, prejudice, etc.
which impede clear thinking and the chances of making a self-empowering choice.
When decisions are made in this state, it leaves individuals feeling like they have
limited control over their life. Often, these choices result in a short-term satisfaction and rarely
result in an outcome that is truly fulfilling.
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How critical can you think? A blog for making choices and being in control of your own living.
Worth Re-posting! Please Read!
If individuals only think about themselves, are they being selfish? In our society today, the answer would most likely be yes, but is that really true?
Thinking about ourselves, for ourselves and by ourselves is what keeps people in control of their own living. No one else has the power to shape our actions besides ourselves.
An anonymous author once wrote, “The greatest knowledge we can give our children is knowledge about themselves. Such knowledge gives them the base for learning everything else important in their life.” TURNING STONEchoice (TSC) holds this philosophy at the core of its program. Self-communication and interacting in (vs. reacting to) a situation is integral in solving everyday problems.
As part of the TSC program, educators and leaders are helping children identify their innermost feelings about realities they are facing. The TSC program teaches children to make self-empowering choices resulting in inner fulfillment.
Making a…
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A Great School Year According to Kids
Summer’s end gives way to back-to-school thoughts with traditional articles doling tips and advice to kick off the school year just right. Usually– no, always these thoughts are derived from the experts, teachers and parents. No one ever asks those who ultimately should get to define that experience. When asked, kids have their fair share of what would make for a great school year. Enjoy the thoughts of students from pre-school to senior year of high school, when asked, “What would make for a great school year?”
“Reinstitute recess. And, I mean, a real recess that the teachers don’t try to control.” – Charlie, 8th grade
“Elementary school should have more science and experiments so kids can have fun learning.” – Joseph, 5th grade
“No NJASK! It doesn’t count as a grade & it builds too much attention for something that almost means nothing. Prepping for months long is not a learning experience. What did I learn?” – Shawn, 8th grade
“For writing kids should be able to meet and interview authors to get tips on how to become better authors.” – Joseph, 5th grade
“I want a field trip to an amusement park with lots of roller coasters. I want to know how they work.” – Caleb, 5th grade
“Some days, I want to be able to scream at the top of my lungs without getting into trouble.” – Nick, 2nd grade
“I would like to do more math and get rid of reading.” – Justin, 2nd grade
“A great school year has lots of play dough!” – Jessie, Kindergarten
“We need video games, like math video games in every room and a half day of school with recess every day.” – Justin, 3rd grade
“I’m happy to get to go upstairs with the big kids and bubbles. We should have bubbles.” – Jasmine, Preschool
“To receive equal respect from teachers. They are demanding respect from us but it seems like they don’t give it back to us.” – Avery, 12th grade
“I wish we had basic life skills being taught to us. Everything is so academic and I feel like that it really doesn’t prepare me for life.” – Lily, 12th grade
“Also, we learn so much about history that I feel disconnected to what is going on in the world today. I wish we learned more about current events.” – Lily, 12th grade
“I think there should be breaks throughout the day to hang out with friends, better lunches and no homework. I would rather spend an extra half hour a day at school than do homework. I just want to be done! “- Phillip, 8th grade
“Elementary school should have a baseball team and clean bathrooms, a glass dome with a huge opening so I can sky jump from a private jet right into the building. And, reading, lots of reading, I wish we had more time to read.” – Michael, 4th grade
“My school year would be great with lots of outside time! Did you know my favorite letter is E, like egg, elephant. . . I think we will learn more about the letter E. “– Emily, Kindergarten
“Great friends that are there, teachers that support, not adversary and a nice atmosphere. “– Riley, 9th grade
“It’s difficult to learn subject matter that is not enjoyable but important. Wish teachers could make it fun. And, students stop being mean to others that have different interests. I see kids being mean or just ignoring others because they do not have shared interests. Wish that could end.” – John, 9th grade
“Down with the yellow buses. They smell disgusting!” – Charlie, 8th grade
“The pressure to be more ahead of where you are is insane. I wish there was an acceptance from adults that not everyone needs to be so advanced. We should be motivated by our learning experience not always trying to get ahead.” – John, 9th grade
“Having a choice in what we learn would be nice. We are always told what we should learn but no one asks what we want to learn.” – Riley, 9th grade
Students were incredibly eager to voice their feelings about their education. Between the bubbles and smelly yellow buses were some profound messages. I hope as teachers and parents we are listening and willing to have a great school year.
Good luck with the upcoming school year and enjoy the last days of summer.
For more information on the TURNING STONEchoice process please visit www.turningstonechoice.com.
Sammy@TURNING STONEchoice
The Recess Queen
This book is a favorite! Powerful insights into playground bullying, school violence, and poor self-esteem. This book offers wonderful life lessons while weaving through character development traits like responsibility, integrity, courage and leadership. The Recess Queen is a great teaching tool for guidance counselors, teachers or parents. This book is a sure hit!
Maya Angelou – “That’s Me”
I got the call late in the afternoon. My literary role model had moved on from this earth. I blinked hard, and my throat was sand dry, for Maya Angelou had shaped not only how I thought about the written word but how I perceived struggle and being a woman of color–phenomenally of course!
She was a brilliant word ninja, transparent in thought and feeling, and bold to tell the world her life stories. And it was with comfort and in lore that I felt connected to her experiences and reflected on her example.
There are people in this world who lovingly shape and encourage wholeness and empowerment in others, as did Maya Angelou. Her confidence and strength was dignified and appealing, and I had the feeling she wanted the same for every person who read her works.
Her “Phenomenal Woman” is, perhaps, the most solidly written anthem for a woman’s self-image. Every girl should read and believe.
Personally, I lapped up every single phrase of “Phenomenal Woman,” reading it like a mantra, wanting to believe I was, and could proudly say, “That’s me!”
In honor of Maya Angelou, enjoy the following excerpt from “Phenomenal Woman,” and please share and pass it on to all of the women in your life:
“Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.” – Maya Angelou
For more information on TURNING STONEchoice and our programs please visit http://www.turningstonechoice.com.
Sammy@TSC
5 Ways to Help You Deal with Negative Child Behavior More Positively
Ten-year-old Jonny is having an out-of-body-experience melt down, and you are his #1 target, absorbing the full impact of all his emotion. Sometimes, being a parent stinks (and not just when you change diapers). How do you deal with the negative behavior positively without being sucked into having your own tantrum or lashing out at your child? Here are 5 ways to engage more positively.
1. Trigger Awareness –There are certain triggers that may set off a child like hunger, a lack of sleep, overstimulation (think video-game gorging), feeling lonely or frustrated. Now, add a parent’s trigger– let’s say whining–to the interpersonal-communication mix, and the exchange could be quite negative. Knowledge of both self and child equips us with the ability to think through negative behavior and potential resolutions. A basic understanding of triggers allows a logical connection to the cause of a negative behavior.
2. Prevention – Now that there is an understanding of the cause for negative behavior, like a lack of sleep–which is the case for two children and one parent in my house–we need to adopt practices that will either evade triggers or build critical thinking skills to work through triggers that are unavoidable. This may mean adjusting bedtime hours. An earlier bedtime for the child (or parent) may be the difference between a pleasant day or one filled with outbursts, defiance, and the inability to focus. If there is complete knowledge of a trigger, yet, as parents, we do not take preventive measures, then we should brace ourselves with empathy for what will come. If we continue to ignore preventive measures then we have set up the child for negative behavior.
3. Discipline – This, of course, is always a prickly subject, but let us define discipline as loving correction, in that children need to be directed and corrected in order to be equipped for their adult lives. I’m not advocating control or micromanagement, or worse, nagging. When we, as parents, take time to let Jonny know the way to behave appropriately or to take care of himself, then we have shown an interest in our child. A child lacking parental discipline will present with issues of self-control and personal discipline, in both childhood and adulthood.
4. Reinforcements –– Know when you may need some help understanding and dealing with your child’s behavior. Relatives, good friends, teachers, or, if needed, professional counselors, can be worth their weight in gold if they help make your job as a parent easier. I remember taking a parenting workshop with a friend entitled, “How to make your child mind, without losing yours.” The information and practical tips I picked up then, I still use today. I would have otherwise been unaware of these techniques, had I not attended that workshop. There is no shame in seeking guidance. None of us have all of the answers, but as a collective group of parents and professionals, solid advice and counseling can allow us to parent in a more positive and joyful way.
5. Consistency –– In order for #1 through #4 to work, we need to adhere to the same course of action. Regularly evaluating what may elicit certain behaviors. The triggers of today will not necessarily be the ones of tomorrow, and the moment we bend or break the rules of discipline, is the moment we will have to start from scratch.
Give some thought to at least one strategy that you can reap the benefits from. Remember, we all stumble as parents but we need to encourage ourselves and each other often. We will never regret the effort nor time we dedicate to our children.
For more information on TURNING STONEchoice please visit http://www.turningstonechoice.com
Sammy@TSC
Teacher Appreciation
“When you learn, teach. When you get, give.” ~ Maya Angelou
It’s time to thank the dedicated teachers for all their sacrifices and support for children throughout the year. Teachers play a key role in student success and feeling valued lets teachers know their efforts are not going unnoticed.
“Ideal teachers are those who use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross, then having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create bridges of their own.” ~ Nikos Kazantzakis
School – No Books Allowed
A technological tidal wave has taken over schools and the future of text books is slowly morphing to their electronic cousins. With the majority of advocates toting technology as the skill of the future, it may be hard to defend the paper back. Educators, parents and IT gurus have all chimed in on the pros and cons of moving to digital text books. Deliberation over a complete integration is not taken lightly and some concerns linger.
Do students have the capacity to carrying the burden of such a responsibility? When everything is said and done, an ipad or similar tablet is a very thin, portable computer. Our children will be responsible for the physical safety of a computer. When kids are notorious for losing items like text books or even the shoes off their feet, is it a reasonable expectation to think that they can keep a tablet safe and secure? Consider, some school districts struggle with theft and vandalism of their technological resources.
Yes, students embrace technology, yet, struggle with responsible use. Students currently are using Smart boards, ipads, and desktops during the school day and will then utilize cell phones to interact with family and friends, bring their electronic text books home, do research for school projects on the internet, type up their homework assignments on chat boards and then blow off some steam to play video games, watch some TV or surf the web.
This amount of “screen time” is not maintaining a healthy balance. Students struggle with unplugging. There are actual cases of addiction to video games and internet surfing. Evidence also supports too much screen time can cause a medical condition called computer vision syndrome which causes eye strain and damage. Additionally, any screen time leading up to bedtime has been proven to effect melatonin levels in the body causing sleep deprivation.
Students need to understand how their overall health is affected by their time spent using digital gadgets, so they can make positive choices. Equipping students with strategies to balance their leisure screen time with academic responsibilities may prove to be an eye and sleep saver.
Striking a balance with amount of use is second to the ways students have misused technology. The media is filled with sick and sad stories of social media harassment, bullying and individuals that stalk and prey on children. Cell phones are used to take pictures without permission or record a crime. Developing the critical thinking skills of the 21st century student is crucial to making safe and smart choices with technology.
Jennifer Patrick, a 7th grade social studies teacher shares her experience and perspective, “My school supplies us with a Social Studies textbook for every student. Our department has not transitioned to digital books, yet. I used to give each kid a textbook to keep at home. Now I make the offer optional. I can probably count on my hands the number of times we use the textbook in class each year. It serves mainly as a supplement. The wealth of text rich resources available online makes learning meaningful and promotes deeper thinking . . . experiences that traditional textbooks rarely offer. Given my content area, I think digital books make exploring history more appealing to 21st century learners than the “dusty old textbooks”. I recognize the concerns about the cost and access to technology for digital books to be feasible. However, considering our tech savvy audience and the fact that these resources will never be outdated, I would fully support a move to digital books.”
Michael Rubright from EIRC (Educational Information & Resource Center) is responsible for technology rollouts schools are currently using like web based text books and tablet integration in the classroom. He believes educators should be partnering with businesses that understand the role of technology in schools and rely on the experts to help provide technology policies that address issues and concerns. Rubright suggests an upfront tutorial for teachers, staff and students, on how to use the technology appropriately, “This is key to setting expectations for usage.”
Guidance and training on how to use digital textbooks or any technology is not necessarily the challenge. The challenge lies with the level of responsibility for the resource, an understanding of how to best balance technology and the appropriate use. Without the continued effort to foster a student’s ability to make positive choices, students will not only struggle with technology, but with life in general.
For more information on the TURNING STONEchoice process please visit http://www.turningstonechoice.com
Sammy@TSC
Why We Accept Unhealthy Relationships
Some news stories grip you right in the gut with an immediate reaction of condemnation for those who have committed unspeakable acts. The reaction is multifold when those involved are children, teenagers, or the disabled.
The article that follows this author’s preface reveals details of a high-functioning, autistic teenager who was abused by two teenage girls. The startling fact is his insistence on maintaining a friendship with his abusers.
It may be easy for us to assume his autism is the cause for the way he feels. Then again, there are many teens–adults, too–who struggle with the concept of a healthy friendship or a romantic relationship. This could be distorted by the primary relationship with parents, the modeling of a relationship, the warped perspective of friendships on television, and even the natural immaturity of young people.
I believe this teenage boy is representative of many, in the sense that we all want for attention and want to feel like we belong. The emptiness of being ignored or passed by can be more difficult to endure than the slights of a so-called-friend or sporadic verbal or physical abuse that might accompany a relationship.
The identification of a true friend and the qualities of a healthy friendship is not simple. This process requires a skill set that includes critical thinking and questioning. Would a friend call me names? Would a friend laugh at me when I am seriously hurt? Would a friend lie to me?
To be clear, real, solid friendships go through their ups and downs. If you have a high level of respect and care for each other, then, most likely, you are in possession of a priceless gift–a true friend.
Understanding the imperative relationship to have is the one with self, to accept a high level of self-respect, appreciate one’s quirks and to embrace being alone. We spend more time with ourselves than anyone else, best to develop that friendship.
“You can never be happy as someone’s other half unless you can be happy as a whole all on your own.” –Anonymous
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Sammy@TURNING STONEchoice
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