One way to assist you in communicating to your children is to emphasize their ability to control their own living. When you frame conversations by helping them understand the impact of their choices, children are willing to interact with you. For example, rather than saying, “Sit down and study for that test you have tomorrow,” interact to help them understand the ramifications of not studying: How they may receive a poor grade: How it can create an unfortunate habit for them. Being reminded that they have a choice whether to do their homework or not but should understand the rationale for not doing it and the subsequent ramifications.
- making ultimatums
- making threats
- making assumptions
- name calling
- limiting their power
The language that you use with your children can limit your effectiveness for parenting. Your tone and mannerism also impacts how they “hear” you. Children want to be validated by having their parent hear them and show them respect.
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