Signs of Positive Self-Esteem

As we work to understand ourselves and our children, we should strive to make choices that help us achieve long term success and self-fulfillment. When we have positive self-esteem, we can better understand:

  • The reality of our personal abilities and limitations.
  • The importance of understanding that we do not live within a vacuum and must interact rather than react to others.
  • The knowledge of when we are being influenced emotionally by past events which may cloud our judgment in a new situation.
  • The reality that ultimately we only have control of ourselves and no one else, not even our children.

Ultimately, when you have positive self-esteem, you understand the reality of your choice making and are able to maintain an attitude that with careful consideration will allow you to supplement and compliment your efforts and overcome challenges.

MIL_277x277_0006_middle_school~TURNING STONEchoice

 

ANGST – Book Review

Angst
Steven, Sarah, and Johnny are three best friends attempting to navigate the perils of freshman year in high school while dealing with the realities of teen life. Steven is coping with the return of his biological father and attempting to prove his worth for his father’s attention and time. Sarah is in her first romantic relationship with an older, mysterious, sophomore and is verbally tormented by a group of girls. Johnny seeks to live up to his father’s legacy on the football field and wrestles with his emotions for Sarah. Angst chronicles the personal stories of each individual as they grow apart over time but reunite in a dramatic conclusion.
Angst is a gem of a book! The author strikes the tone of the teen perfectly through his three main characters. Teen readers will relate and parents if you are wondering what is going on in your teenagers head and in their world, read this book. Nothing is off-limits, the real issues, pressures and doubts, but not without palpable solutions. A fast read and a super-cool ending!

Available on amazon.com here http://www.amazon.com/Angst-Christopher-Avery/dp/0984002200/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_dnr_1
~Sammy @TURNING STONEchoice
For more information on TURNING STONEchoice and its process, visit http://www.turningstonechoice.com

Jail Time for Victims of Bullying

DSCN1415

Yes, you read the title correctly. No error on my part. A recent study has presented evidence for adults who have been bullied during their childhood and teen years. There seems to be a strong correlation between this dual experience and being convicted of crimes. This study followed 7300 people for 14 years, and long story short. There are a significant higher percentage of people spending time in jail that have been victims during childhood and teen years versus those who have not or have had single bullying experiences.
This study definitely had me scratching my head. It is not a far stretch to image the bully doing time, even if it may be stereotypical. But, how do the victims end up incarcerated? One possible explanation would be the type of coping techniques victims are choosing to use to handle the abuse. The study found women were much more likely to use alcohol and drugs, and to be arrested and convicted for illegal use.
This study presents even more evidence that childhood bullying has a direct link to quality of life not just at the moment of abuse but long term damage. It is yet, another reason to continue to advocate for programs that empower children. Programs like Turning STONEchoice equip children with the tools to build self-esteem, confidence, and cultivate a positive path for a child’s life.
Please follow link below for specific study details.
http://web.mail.comcast.net/zimbra/mail?app=mail#2
For more information on TURNING STONEchoice and its process, visit http://www.turningstonechoice.com
~Sammy @TURNING STONEchoice

Image

Wake- Up Call!

Wake- Up Call!

A major obstacle children face with making positive choices is lack of exercise and nutrition. Our children are our future and we need to teach them the importance of healthy exercise and nutrition to help build positive choice making skills and an overall healthy lifestyle. The benefits to exercise and healthy nutrition outweigh the negatives. Their ability to overcome their obstacles to make healthier choices improves while building confidence and promoting self-esteem. Healthy eating provides more energy, better brain function and memory and allows children’s concentration to increase. By living a healthy lifestyle children can gain a positive feeling about them and decrease anxiety, reduce depression, and improve quality of sleep. Parents and educators your efforts to encourage our children to exercise regularly and instill the value of healthy nutrition is crucial. Let’s work together and give our children, of the future, this precious gift that will last a lifetime.

Children’s Amusing Choices

“Would you rather eat a furry tarantula or lick a squirrel?” These are the bizarre but fairly normal questions circling our meal times.  Responses and explanations are just as amusing as the question themselves.  Choosing to be a rebel on this occasion, I bowed out and refused to give-in to the pressure– “You have to choose one,” whinned one child.  Today, I choose a squirrel and spider-free diet, thank you. There are more choices available beyond what others may offer, just like you all have choices in your life, I explain to my 3 boys.  Nicky, immediately informs me, he has no choices.  I get it.  Mom, dad, teachers, coaches and even his older brothers seem to run the show. Children often feel limited in their choice making ability based on their position.  Especially, if the circumstances of their lives are filled with stress; abuse, lack of sleep, lack of basic nutrition, etc.  Many children are not even aware of the simple fact, that they do make choices each and every day, and their future choices are wide and very possible. As parents and teachers, may we remind our children, often, of their ability to make choices and encourage the self-empowering ones along the way, minus the furry spiders.

Image

An Awesome Read for Kids

An Awesome Read for Kids

TSC just did a lesson to 1st & 3rd graders in a Camden Charter School using the book, “Cool Down and Work Through Anger.” This wonderfully written book is by Cheri J. Meiners. It is a fantastic book for showing children how to help deal with anger. There are many reasons for getting angry but how one chooses to deal with the feeling of anger is the key. This book gives the reader wonderful scenarios, discusses the feelings/emotions of anger, and discusses the choices we are faced with when dealing with the emotion of anger. The best part are the tips offered to children to help manage their anger. This book is highly recommended to any parent or educator of young children. A great choice for children learning how to deal with anger.

Image

Kindness is Intelligent

Kindness is Intelligent

Across the monkey bars to the twirling seat-cups, where I sat, spinning in an attempt to entertain my 6 year old son, Nicky*. I heard his voice call, “Who wants to play cops and robbers?” The alpha male command in the jungle beckoned and the natives came running. I was grateful to this little boy for gathering the troops on the play ground. I was getting dizzy. Also, 15 minutes prior, I was standing outside my car trying to convince my son to go, have some fun. Although grateful, I kept my eye on that alpha male, Calvin. I expected possible bossiness, intimidation, physical aggression and the like. Why? My ignorant, preconceived notions were running amuck. I watched that kid like a hawk, and not for any of the reasons above, but, because I was witnessing a natural born leader.
He began the play-process with such interpersonal discipline, I could not believe, I was watching an 8 year old boy conduct himself like a board member of a civil committee. He introduced himself, had everyone say their names, then he went around and repeated each person’s name, so everyone would know who was who. He divided the teams equally based on age, and off they went to have a great time. At no point did anyone challenge him or whine about their assigned roles.
When it was time for Nicky to leave the park, Calvin bid him a friendly good bye as if they had been friends for years. “Did you have a good time?” I asked, Nicky. “Yep! Calvin is so smart, mom.” Intrigued by his statement, “Why do you think he is smart?” I questioned. With a look that implied, I should already know this information, he countered, “Because, he was kind!”
*Alias
For more information on TURNING STONEchoice and its process, visit http://www.turningstonechoice.com
~Sammy @TURNING STONEchoice

Tips for maintaining your own levels of confidence:

shutterstock_15812086When was the last time you felt your beliefs in yourself were slipping away? How can you live with less fear while maintaining a level of self-esteem that no situation could rattle. Imagine the things you could accomplish if you had the belief that you could do anything while making self-empowering choices. Self-esteem comes from positive self-imaging and corresponds with making self-empowering choices. The following are tips to help build confidence.

1. Be true to yourself
2. Face your fears
3. Be grateful
4. Create an image of yourself
5. Realize that failure will not destroy you
6. Get to know who you are and what you want out of life

By trying to aspire to these tips you will be able to trust yourself and your choices. You will become stable and live a balanced life.